that's what craigslist is for
Girl: I figured something out. In college, you only have to wash your sheets if you have fleas, or if you have sex. *pause* To be honest, I'm way closer to fleas right now.
Mather Courtyard
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-06 | Flag this quote
too tired to...
Girl 1: I thought you were going to take a break and watch Friends?
Girl 2: I was, but I got too lazy to find the DVD. So I'm studying chemistry instead.
~Mather~
Heard by: Mephistopheles
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-06 | Flag this quote
computer mouses or mice?
Girl 1: I hate your cs50 project, it's just a bunch of stupid fishes.
Girl 2: You mean fish.
Girl 3: Actually, fish is when there is a lot of the same species and fishes is when they are different species.
Girl 1: Fuck I hate Harvard.
Lowell
Heard by: The anti-nerd
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-06 | Flag this quote
So close and yet so far...
Guy 1: [idly hums Aladdin's "Whole New World"]
Guy 2: Dude, why are you singing that fag song?!
Guy 1: What?!
Guy 2: Dude, that shit's the main song in The Little Mermaid!
Guy 1: No, it's not! This is "Brave New World"!
Guy 2: Man, you're an idiot! "Brave New World" is that Orwell book. Dude, you're stupid!
Currier
Heard by: Really?
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-07 | Flag this quote
first come, first serve
boy: *postering for true love revolution*
boy (to girl): give abstinence a chance!
girl: too late.
outside science center
Heard by: true lover
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-08 | Flag this quote
and that's how Britney got her psych 1 study credits
researcher: Are you participating for cash or credit?
participant: Hmm?
researcher: Cash or credit?
participant: Oh, you can charge it...
william james
Heard by: this is so not a shopping mall
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-13 | Flag this quote
look out for the guy with the huge ones
Guy 1: I don't know if Primal Scream is really my scene. You know, it's all
cold and stuff - you get the shrinkage.
Guy 2: Man, I need the shrinkage, my balls are HUGE.
the crimson
Heard by: agreaterthanb
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-07 | Flag this quote
Lay back and not feel a thing...
Girl 1: So, I couldn't stop laughing. I didn't mean too, I swear. It was just so ... little. I was like... that's it?
Girl 2: Wow. I would have thought sex with him would have been better.
Girl 1: Not really. I just laid there and didn't feel a thing.
Outside Annenberg
Heard by: Ouch!
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-16 | Flag this quote
what about just for annoying people?
Girl: I wish there were a spray that made people go away.
Guy: It's called mace.
Quincy dhall
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-06 | Flag this quote
burn
girl: Wow, I'm so full.
guy: Wanna talk about it?
dhall
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-06 | Flag this quote
Didn't pay attention in Justice
Two guys discussing the merits of a college football playoff...
Guy 1: It's just not fair that the two best teams don't necessarily get to compete for the championship.
Guy 2: So, there's lots of unfair things in sports.
Guy 1: Name one thing that's that egregious.
Guy 2: Casey Martin can't drive a golf cart!
Guy 1: Dude, Casey Martin CAN drive a golf cart.
Guy 2: That's unfair to the other professionals!
Reading period
Heard by: bg&j
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-07 | Flag this quote
not into republicans
girl 1: So tomorrow, I'm going to a nice lunch with this guy....
girl 2: What? is your boyfriend okay with this?
girl 1: Oh, you don't understand... this guy is so preppy and republican--he's almost gay.
anonymous
Heard by: bemused
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-09 | Flag this quote
best. sermon. of. all. time.
"He is one of the nation's most celibate composers." --Introduction to the speaker (I think she meant "celebrated"...)
FROM THE SERMON:
"Other little boys were pilfering candy stores or making cats' lives miserable...not Mr. Gomes! He took to church like a pig to mud."
"Again, Mr. Gomes has not had an opportunity to be [metaphorically] the Samaritan woman. He is not a woman! Nor is he Samaritan. He is of Portuguese descent! And of course, as a Harvard faculty member, he has done no manual labor."
"'Shut up', I explained."
"Well, as a trained religious professional, I would say yes, this is God. God is stalking you for some reason..."
"'Why is there a lock on the church door?' I asked the Sheriff. He replied, 'Well, some things got out of hand at a board meeting a couple of months ago...'"
Behind the screen at the Memorial Church
Heard by: Laughing
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-02-24 | Flag this quote
So are computers..
Guy, to no one in particular: Oh man, this stuff is magic. Soap is cool.
Lamont bathroom, 5th floor
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-06 | Flag this quote
and let him watch
Guy: I was wondering, um, maybe you could ask her if she would go out with me?
Girl: Umm, she's gay.
*pause*
Guy: Still…well, maybe you could ask for yourself then.
Sever 113
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-06 | Flag this quote
and those science ones you don't touch
Guy: Yeah, ec girls you just bang. Lit girls you actually try to get to know and stuff.
mt. auburn st.
Heard by: changing concentrations
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-11 | Flag this quote
overheard in Cabot
guy: So you must not be from harvard.
girl, shocked: Yeah how did you know?
guy: Cause you're hot...
cabot dhall
Heard by: annoyed girl
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-06 | Flag this quote
A mondegreen
Girl: Garnet & gold? Those are Seminole colors!
Guy: What kind of semen have you been looking at?
hallway
Heard by: procrastinating
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-07 | Flag this quote
trapped in the closet
guy 1: Common law marriage could really be useful.
guy 2: You know what would be the greatest prank ever--if we, a couple of dudes, went to the MA courthouse and married each other, with IDs and everything, and then told everyone.
guy 1: Yea, that'd be great for tax purposes, too.
guy 3: Wouldn't that come back to haunt you when you really apply for marriage in the future and your wife finds out you're already married . . . to a dude?
guys 1 and 2: Oh.
lowell
Heard by: nothisfuturewife
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-14 | Flag this quote
me too...
Tipsy girl, to friend: You don't have to pay me back, I bought it on a drunk whim. *pause* I am a drunk whim.
Felipe's, 2am
Vote for it! | Submitted 2008-01-06 | Flag this quote